I got the Sonic Mania Collector's Edition and I regret Everything

I got the Sonic Mania Collector's Edition and I regret Everything

The date was January 13, 2017. Nintendo had just fully unveiled all the details on the Switch and I was floating in ecstasy.

Grateful that I was able to secure my pre-order for the actual console, I decided I needed some games to go with it. The Sonic Mania collector's edition was up on Amazon, and going faster than the blue blur himself. I knew I had to make a decision. Despite rarely going for special editions of anything, I figured Sonic Mania was different. The box actually looked cool and had a replica Genesis that sang "Seggaaa" when you flipped the on switch. I had to have it.

Successfully securing my pre-order, I then refocused my attention to Nintendo and the Switch until a few months later when Sonic Mania got delayed. I remembered I had the collector's edition pre-ordered and, having come down from the high of the Nintendo Switch reveal, thought perhaps I didn't need the Sonic Mania collector's edition after all. However, when I went to cancel my pre-order I took note of how difficult the special edition was to obtain. With this new artificial value placed on my $70 retro plastic box, I once more decided to keep my pre-order. 

Fast forward to August 15, 2017. Amazon has failed to get the order to my house on launch day, and I'm having my regrets about not saving the money and getting the game digital only on day one. A full two days after the game releases my box comes. Here is what I get.

It's ostensively a box within another box that's the exact same as the first box. I proceed to unbox the damn thing. The statue is much cheaper-looking than the pictures online led on, and it doesn't even include batteries. Come to think of it, if they aren't going to make a fully-functioning Sega Genesis, shouldn't they make the statue smaller so it is at least a reasonable desk or shelf decoration? Instead, I am left with a gigantic hunk of plastic that screams "SEEGGAAAA" only after inserting two of my own AA batteries. And here's the full thing in action.

The headphone jack and controller ports of the statue are just stickers. The volume knob can be adjusted but it's purely aesthetic, and the whole box feels completely hollow (probably is, except for a tiny sound card with speaker). 

Luckily that's not all that comes with the collector's edition. There's also this mock-up cartridge for Sonic Mania to show you what it would look like if the game was actually made and released in the 90s. It's kinda cool, but then you can pull on the bottom of the chip tab and out comes a tacky Sonic ring that does absolutely nothing. 

But that's not all! There is a final piece to this shit sundae, and it's the Sonic Mania card, or at least that's what I think it is. I don't know, does anyone have any idea what the hell this thing could possibly exist for?

Does Sega expect some loser, dumbass Sonic fan to keep this thing in their wallet? It feels like one of those AMEX black cards, but conveys the exact opposite message to those that see it; Whoever bought this thing is a fucking loser (myself included). 

Of course the box does include a download code for the game. Yes, the actual Sonic Mania video game. It's the only part of this whole thing that's actually worth any money. The saving grace in all of this is that Sonic Mania is actually pretty darn good, so I don't feel like it was a total waste of money.

Honestly this could have been the coolest collector's edition ever if the Sega Genesis were actually a fully-functioning console, and the Sonic Mania cartridge actually included a port of the new game that runs on the console. Of course there are a million reasons why that's not the case, but rest assured, I would have payed double for that and had no regrets. 

I don't know what I'm going to do with this collector's edition. Maybe I can sell it on eBay, although unfortunately for me, this thing seems to be well stocked all the sudden. I wonder why?

So it sits in the corner of my room for now in its box, but one thing is for sure, it's gotta go, fast. 

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